This was such a brilliant piece😍.We’ve been conditioned to subscribe to so many different standards of femininity and beauty when black women have BEEN the blueprint from the beginning of time. I wrote a piece of black femininity and girlhood feel free to check it out xx
Whew… suffering from alopecia areata after wearing locs for 10 years this month. What I’ve learned is how much the women in my family believed assimilation was protection from a racist system. I was 13 when I got a relaxer and I hated it. At 38, I did the big chop. I’ve had my natural hair in some style since.
I thought it was insanity for me to sit quietly in a chair with my scalp on fire while the stylist said, “10 more minutes.” I’ve never put relaxer in my hair again.
I didn’t believe beauty was painful. I’m sure so many of got our hair stories. This was a powerful read💥
lipglosssssss was a young black woman who urged many other young black girls and woman to show up as themselves. many of us began wearing our afros straight out the bonnet because of her and she changed the definition of done when it comes to black woman hair. unfortunately people on the internet drove her off, but many of us recognize her impact and your impact with this beautifully written article.
i love this thank you so much for this read! i made the decision to go natural from relaxers a few years ago and i received the most pushback from my mum who to this day still says i should try texture release 😭 it really be your on people but i hope we can move forward from this internalised racism one day 🫶🏾
I love this post. But I’ll be honest, natural for 16 years, locs for 6 years & just big chopped to my TWA. The only time I ever faced any backlash was from my own mom.
I definitely do see the internalized racism in others but I am grateful that I have always had people love my natural more than they didn’t.
Loved this read! Funny enough I feel like I came across one of these videos or “personas” recently too. I know about the harmful effects of synthetic hair and once I knew better about relaxers I stopped and also encouraged my mom and family to stop too (plus anyone that would listen) almost a decade ago! It’s crazy that some just turn a blind eye to it but I sometimes feel it’s all they know and not even sure who they are without the hair (can’t recognize themselves) - I know a few people still like this today. All I can do is keep praising natural hair and as a loc girly, I promote that style too lol. I am also curious about those documentaries 👀
Truth be told though, African girls need to stay more conscious of their appearance but they lose it sometimes. They are too lazy to maintain that youthful glamour, which is contrary to white girls. It's immoral to be moderately sexy in some African societies. Not to attack my beautiful African girls but to wake them to the competition. The competition is real and white girls are not settling for fairness. I don't push for synthetic hair and shaving hair for both African men and women is a sign of mind slavery.
“No offence here, but there is no smoke without fire.”
There’s offence and a lot of smoke, but no fire. Just the tired spark of misogynoir and internalized colonialism. Generalizing African women based on your limited worldview isn’t proof of a fire, it’s proof of your bias.
“How you replied to this text is typical of an African woman.”
So reducing a woman’s argument to her identity so you can ignore its content is not logical that’s laziness . I responded with clarity, facts, and intent. If you saw emotion, it’s because the truth hit harder than expected.
“Maybe a case truly exists. Something must change about the African woman.”
Nope, something must change about the narratives imposed on African women. We’re not the problem. The real issue is people like you who internalize colonial standards, disrespect black women, and frame it as a helpful critique.
“If you are challenged in a way find a better way to resolve it logically not just emotionally.”
I was challenged, and I responded logically, directly, and with strength. You’re calling it “emotional” because you can’t counter it. Maybe also because I’m a woman and you can’t fathom a straightforward response.🤷🏽♀️ Logic doesn’t mean softness it means accuracy, I don’t have to be gentle with you as you put down what I stand for.
“White girls do it better I guess.”
This right here discredits everything else you say. If you don’t see how blatantly racist and self-hating that sentence is, there’s no point in pretending your critique comes from a place of love or truth or logic.
“I’m not racist and love my African beauties putting in the effort.”
Loving Black women only when they perform for you isn’t love. It’s control. And calling it “effort” when they conform to Eurocentric standards is proof you don’t want them free , you want them filtered.
“Beauty is beauty and not a matter of long texts defending its nature.”
If beauty were objective, you wouldn’t need to put African women down. Face your truth man ✋🏽
This comment is a textbook example of misogynoir. It unfairly targets African women, frames their worth around appearance, and pits them against white women under a false and harmful narrative of “competition.” African women, like all women, deserve the freedom to define beauty on their own terms without being judged through a colonial or patriarchal lens. Calling them “lazy” is both insulting and rooted in racist stereotypes. Your comment reinforces the very mindset that black femininity seeks to dismantle. Get out my comment section and actually try to educate yourself or at least question your beliefs.
No offence here, but there is no smoke without fire. How you replied to this text is typical of an African woman. Maybe a case truly exists. Something must change about the African woman. If you are challenged in a way find a better way to resolve it logically not just emotionally. White girls do it better I guess. I'm not racist and love my African beauties putting in the effort. Beauty is beauty and not a matter of long texts defending its nature.
This was such a brilliant piece😍.We’ve been conditioned to subscribe to so many different standards of femininity and beauty when black women have BEEN the blueprint from the beginning of time. I wrote a piece of black femininity and girlhood feel free to check it out xx
Thank you so muchh 🫶🏽 ill be sure to check out your piece
Whew… suffering from alopecia areata after wearing locs for 10 years this month. What I’ve learned is how much the women in my family believed assimilation was protection from a racist system. I was 13 when I got a relaxer and I hated it. At 38, I did the big chop. I’ve had my natural hair in some style since.
I thought it was insanity for me to sit quietly in a chair with my scalp on fire while the stylist said, “10 more minutes.” I’ve never put relaxer in my hair again.
I didn’t believe beauty was painful. I’m sure so many of got our hair stories. This was a powerful read💥
Sending love to you, you got this ! 💪🏽 and yes beauty doesn’t have to burn and itch
lipglosssssss was a young black woman who urged many other young black girls and woman to show up as themselves. many of us began wearing our afros straight out the bonnet because of her and she changed the definition of done when it comes to black woman hair. unfortunately people on the internet drove her off, but many of us recognize her impact and your impact with this beautifully written article.
i love this thank you so much for this read! i made the decision to go natural from relaxers a few years ago and i received the most pushback from my mum who to this day still says i should try texture release 😭 it really be your on people but i hope we can move forward from this internalised racism one day 🫶🏾
I love this post. But I’ll be honest, natural for 16 years, locs for 6 years & just big chopped to my TWA. The only time I ever faced any backlash was from my own mom.
I definitely do see the internalized racism in others but I am grateful that I have always had people love my natural more than they didn’t.
Thanks for sharing dear
Loved this read! Funny enough I feel like I came across one of these videos or “personas” recently too. I know about the harmful effects of synthetic hair and once I knew better about relaxers I stopped and also encouraged my mom and family to stop too (plus anyone that would listen) almost a decade ago! It’s crazy that some just turn a blind eye to it but I sometimes feel it’s all they know and not even sure who they are without the hair (can’t recognize themselves) - I know a few people still like this today. All I can do is keep praising natural hair and as a loc girly, I promote that style too lol. I am also curious about those documentaries 👀
Beautiful read
Thank you for reading 🫶🏽🫶🏽 feel free to check out more 😙
I loved this, thank you 🫂
I have a write up similar to this in my drafts and you just inspired me to post. I love your work❤️😍
Exactly all of this. We need to love, appreciate and be unapologetically proud of our own beauty. Loved this piece and the musings you left us with 🤍
Excellent essay, deep musings. Thank you🙌🏾.
@Satnam @Taylor Simone Haynes thought you might enjoy from the title.
loving ourselves as black natural women>>
Can we now move on and be ourselves please!!!
Oh, how much I skip videos that start with such statements; how to be .........woman
Tchhh!
Truth be told though, African girls need to stay more conscious of their appearance but they lose it sometimes. They are too lazy to maintain that youthful glamour, which is contrary to white girls. It's immoral to be moderately sexy in some African societies. Not to attack my beautiful African girls but to wake them to the competition. The competition is real and white girls are not settling for fairness. I don't push for synthetic hair and shaving hair for both African men and women is a sign of mind slavery.
“No offence here, but there is no smoke without fire.”
There’s offence and a lot of smoke, but no fire. Just the tired spark of misogynoir and internalized colonialism. Generalizing African women based on your limited worldview isn’t proof of a fire, it’s proof of your bias.
“How you replied to this text is typical of an African woman.”
So reducing a woman’s argument to her identity so you can ignore its content is not logical that’s laziness . I responded with clarity, facts, and intent. If you saw emotion, it’s because the truth hit harder than expected.
“Maybe a case truly exists. Something must change about the African woman.”
Nope, something must change about the narratives imposed on African women. We’re not the problem. The real issue is people like you who internalize colonial standards, disrespect black women, and frame it as a helpful critique.
“If you are challenged in a way find a better way to resolve it logically not just emotionally.”
I was challenged, and I responded logically, directly, and with strength. You’re calling it “emotional” because you can’t counter it. Maybe also because I’m a woman and you can’t fathom a straightforward response.🤷🏽♀️ Logic doesn’t mean softness it means accuracy, I don’t have to be gentle with you as you put down what I stand for.
“White girls do it better I guess.”
This right here discredits everything else you say. If you don’t see how blatantly racist and self-hating that sentence is, there’s no point in pretending your critique comes from a place of love or truth or logic.
“I’m not racist and love my African beauties putting in the effort.”
Loving Black women only when they perform for you isn’t love. It’s control. And calling it “effort” when they conform to Eurocentric standards is proof you don’t want them free , you want them filtered.
“Beauty is beauty and not a matter of long texts defending its nature.”
If beauty were objective, you wouldn’t need to put African women down. Face your truth man ✋🏽
This comment is a textbook example of misogynoir. It unfairly targets African women, frames their worth around appearance, and pits them against white women under a false and harmful narrative of “competition.” African women, like all women, deserve the freedom to define beauty on their own terms without being judged through a colonial or patriarchal lens. Calling them “lazy” is both insulting and rooted in racist stereotypes. Your comment reinforces the very mindset that black femininity seeks to dismantle. Get out my comment section and actually try to educate yourself or at least question your beliefs.
No offence here, but there is no smoke without fire. How you replied to this text is typical of an African woman. Maybe a case truly exists. Something must change about the African woman. If you are challenged in a way find a better way to resolve it logically not just emotionally. White girls do it better I guess. I'm not racist and love my African beauties putting in the effort. Beauty is beauty and not a matter of long texts defending its nature.